LEAP girls and visit to Langa township

As I previously talked about, I have been mentoring five girls at the LEAP school throughout the semester, ages 15-16. My friend Ali and I have been working together as the girls’ mentors, and it has been such a fun experience. Getting to know them has been a slow process, because principally, there is a bit of a language barrier. At first, Ali and I weren’t sure if the girls even liked us, because they would be very quiet and shy when we talked to them, and then giggle whenever we would talk. We felt like we weren’t really connecting with them, like we all weren’t on the same page, so Bones organized a meeting with all of us to talk about how things had been going. During this talk, it was revealed that a lot of the time, the girls were finding it really hard to understand our accents, slang we used, and the manner in which we talk. It wasn’t that they didn’t like us or didn’t want to get to know us, but the exact opposite. They wanted so badly to just sit around and chat and get to know us, but were feeling shy and embarrassed that they didn’t feel 100% proficient in their English. As Bones explained, they are actually more intimidated by each other than Ali and I, because their harshest critics tend to be their peers, where if they slip up with one little mistake, someone is always there to correct and poke fun. Once we understood this, Ali and I made an effort to make them feel as comfortable as possible with us. We tried speaking slower and more clearly, which I think helped a lot. After this meeting, something just clicked, and we instantly got so much closer with the girls. We began bonding more like good friends and really getting to know them, all the while still helping them out with their school work and maintaining the mentor-mentee relationship.

Since the semester is almost over, a couple weekends ago Ali and I decided to take our girls for a nice day on the weekend where they could choose something they wanted to do and we could spend the day hanging out, talking and bonding. The girl’s chose to go to this casino called Grant West, which is also a hotel, ice skating rink, mini-mall, movie theatre, and almost anything else you could want to do. They wanted to go ice-skating, so Ali and I met them at their school in Saturday morning. We took the train with them to Grand West, which was interesting. Trains in South Africa are an experience in themselves. During any given rush-hour time, the trains will be absolutely packed full, with people even straddling on the outside of the train between two cars to find space to ride. There is only first class, and third class (a ridiculously irrelevant situation left over from apartheid times), and there is no tangible difference between the two, besides the fact that first class will be slightly less packed. It is an honor system, so many people don’t even buy tickets because in third class, there are so many people that it would be impossible to go around asking for tickets from each person, and so they only really check first class, and only some times. Most of the people on third class are black or colored. On our trip, people were giving us sideways glances on third class, because we were two white girls with a group of 5 black teenage girls, and this was something they probably aren’t very used to seeing. Every time I’ve taken third class on the train, I’ve pretty much been the only white person on there (aside from whatever Americans I might be with). En route to Grand West, Ali and I both got a marriage proposal each, whereby the men would go up to our LEAP girls and tell them that he was taking one of us home with him to become his wife. Pretty funny stuff.

Once we got there, we had a really great day. The girls decided they didn’t really want to ice skate, and that they wanted to see a movie instead. The movie they wanted to see was My Best Friend’s Girl, which is a highly inappropriate movie for 15 year olds, so we vetoed that option. It ended up being a little awkward, because we were expecting the girls to come with money enough to pay for themselves, and they didn’t. They in turn were expecting us to pay for everything, not out of selfishness or greed but just because apparently it is customary that girls, in their culture in the township they are from, are never expected to pay for anything, so they never bring any money. They might have also assumed that we had infinite amounts of money because we are American, but either way, we had to explain the situation to them. In the end, I think they felt bad for assuming and might have been a little embarrassed, but Ali and I agreed that we could pay for their entrance and that we would buy them lunch. What was cute was that, after lunch was done, the girls all pooled their own money (with 6 rand help from us) to surprise us with ice cream cones. It was really sweet of them, and showed that it had just been a miscommunication. We had so much fun that day, just gossiping, talking about everything from school, boys, crushes, family, life in America, and all that. It was such a well-spent Saturday, and I think we really connected with them on a whole other level.

After lunch, Bones came and picked all of us up to take us home. All 8 of us piled into this tiny Euro car, and Bones had to take alternate routes to avoid the police checkpoints he knew were stationed outside of Langa, that township that both he and the girls are from. It was my first time in Langa, and the afternoon that followed was pretty incredible. The girls ended up taking us on a tour of the entire township, showing us various places that they frequent, and special sites and all that. I think what they were most excited to show us was the “sheep heads,” which is basically exactly what it sounds: skinned, decapitated sheep heads roasting on an open barbeque. The girls took turns grossing us out by proclaiming their favorite parts to eat, from brains to ears to eyeballs. The most special part was that each girl took us to her home and introduced us to their families. Most of their houses were simple, one to two room houses, some more developed than others. Township houses were built by the government under apartheid, and the inequities and unjust nature of what they were allocated is very apparent. Each “house” is connected to the next in a paper-doll fashion, and there are just lines and lines of houses, all so close and crowded. One of the girls talked about how when fires are so dangerous because when they happen in one house, they quickly become massive because each house just catches so quickly because they aren’t made out of the best material, and are so close to each other. Some of the girls seemed a little reticent to show us their places (although we never asked, it was all completely their idea), because I think they thought we might judge them based on the size of how much decor they had. One girl took us into her house, and quickly exclaimed, “See! It’s just one room, one window, and one door. Nothing special.” Each family member was so happy to see us, and would thank us for coming to see them and for taking the time to visit South Africa. We were sure to clarify that this was a pleasure all our own, and that we were so grateful they let us into their homes and welcomed us. Even walking around Langa, you feel the sense of community. As both the girls and Bones have said, everyone knows everyone in the town. People wave, joke, talk, gossip, and argue in the streets. They get really excited to see foreigners (we were the ONLY white people I saw the entire time, besides this one very touristy and lost-looking older European man), and the girls said that they were even getting special attention from LEAP students who normally wouldn’t have even said hi to them, but did because they were with Americans. Kids run around playing everywhere where there’s space, and you just get a certain feeling being there that I can’t really provide adequate words for. It was an immensely special day for me, and I will remember it forever.

After we parted from the girls, Bones took us to his place, where we hung out in his room for a bit, and even met his mom. According to him, she is the gossip queen and loves to talk and chat and knows everything about everyone. She was so sweet when we met her, and gave us a huge hug and welcomed us with incredible warmth and love. We then went off to a shebeen, which is a place in townships that is usually someone’s home or a tavern-like place, where they sell alcohol and people (mostly men) go to hang out, watch sport, listen to music, and drink. There were many extremely drunk people there, and we obviously stood out like sore thumbs (only white people and for most of the time the only girls) and got approached several times, one guy even going so far as to ask if we were models…haha! But it was fun to see Bones in his element and meeting all his friends and seeing what partying and hanging out is like on his side of Cape Town. I went home content and feeling very privileged to have been able to experience something that most people will never be able to say they’ve done. And let me say, I really think those people are missing out on something great.