Oceanview township homestay

Two weekends ago, we did a homestay in a colored township community called Oceanview. In South Africa, the term “colored” differs from “black” in that colored people are of mixed race, and have lighter skin, while “black” is used for black Africans. Under apartheid, colored people, because they were “less black” due to their lighter skin, were given preferential treatment over the blacks. I’ll talk a little about the manifestations of this is current times later.

I was really excited to meet my family but also a little nervous of course, but I really couldn’t have gotten a better one! Another CIEE student, Megan, and I stayed with the Bowman family. The parents, Donovan and Gadija, were a young couple of the sweetest disposition. They had two kids, Caitlyn (3 years old) and Darren (6 years old), who were so cute and ecstatic that we were there to stay with them. They also had the cutest little dog, Sandy, and a very nice house that they opened up to us with so much warmth and welcome.

We first arrived on Friday night to have dinner in the local school’s auditorium. There was a huge feast set up with music, big tables, so much food, and entertainment as well. Each family was sitting at a table, eagerly holding up a number (which we students had all been assigned earlier) waiting to connect with the students who would be staying with them. We all made our way to our new families, and sat down to enjoy a great dinner and some introductory conversations with our families. From the start, I knew we were going to get along so well with our family, they were so laid back and so enthusiastic to ask us questions, answer our questions, know all about our lives and also have some good discussion about important topics. Oceanview has a lot of problems with the youth dropping out of school, having drug or alcohol problems, and gang activity, but they are very proactive about attempting alter this path. They have dance, singing, and other talent-centered programs which get the kids doing something that they are passionate about, but also keeps them busy and off of the streets, not permitting them the opportunity to even get involved in the negative activities that occur there. So at the dinner, we had some of those kids perform for us, and it was extremely enjoyable. You could tell from the vibe the performances gave off that they had worked SO hard on their songs and routines and were very proud to share their talents with us.

From the dinner, our family took us to Donovan’s parent’s house, where the kids were fast asleep on the couches. Because they were passed out, the four of us made the executive decision to leave the kids at their grandma’s house, and we proceeded to go out to a party in Simonstown. Under the apartheid regime’s Group Areas Act, certain areas of land and cities or towns were designated solely for whites. Despite the fact that blacks or coloreds may have been living on this land for generations, forced removals occurred where they were made to abandon their homes and lives that they knew to be relocated to areas that were acceptable for them to live in, and were “black” or “colored” areas specifically. Often, families were made to move from areas where soil was fertile with pleasant climates and other favorable conditions to dry, dirt-filled towns they would have never chosen to move to on their own accord. The significance of Simonstown in this situation is a majority of the people who live in Oceanview today were those who were forcibly removed from their homes in Simonstown. Therefore, many of them have feelings of nostalgia for their former homes and some even resent Oceanview, citing various complaints that make it less desirable than Simonstown. Anyway, so we went to this random charity dance party in Simonstown, where people bring their own bottles of whatever alcohol they prefer, and lots of snacks or food, sit at a table, and drink, dance, and karaoke the night away. It turns out it was a costume party, and all the people there were dressed in school uniforms. There was a vast mixture of people there, some old, some young, but I guess most of the people were staff from a hospital in the area. It was such a great time, Megan and I, along with a couple other CIEE students whose families brought them as well, definitely karaoked to Britney Spears…haha. We also had the chance to have some pretty deep conversations about various topics, which I really enjoyed.

The next day, on Saturday, we spent the morning getting to know the family and being introduced to the kids. Darren immediately took a strong liking to me, which might have been due to the fact that I had brought 3 little squishy USC balls (a football, soccer ball, and one we later deemed to be a volleyball) for them as presents...first impressions are KEY. We spent the morning playing various random games with them before we started our day. Our family took us to this gemstone factory where a few members of the family worked, and Donovan used to work, and it was really interesting. They had all the big machinery there, and Donovan taught us a little about the process through which the rocks go and showed us some of the behind the scenes stuff. The products they were selling were gorgeous, and it was a fun time. Then we went off to the grocery store to get all the supplies for the braai (BBQ) we were about to have that night. Darren and I had a ball at the grocery store. He spent most of the time riding piggy-back style (he was really light so it didn’t hurt too bad) and we invented this game he called “plus.” In this game, I would give him two numbers, and he would add them together and give me the answer. Who knew the kid would love practicing his math facts so much? We then moved on to “take away”, which was a little more challenging, but he still got most of it. For the rest of the trip, I was constantly begged with pleading eyes, “can we play plus please?” It was so sweet. Megan also taught him one of those hand-clapping/ jive-like games that I also knew, and that alternated in demand with “plus” as well at every possible opportunity. We went home to watch the rugby game, which the South African Springboks lost terribly, but we continued our celebrations without letting it get us down too much. The braai we had that night was SO fun! So much of their family came, many from right down the street, but some from up to 45 minutes away, just to meet us and spend the night, once again, eating, drinking, talking, dancing, and of course karaokeing into the morning hours. I spent the night floating around, talking to various members of the family, but I found it really interesting to talk to the group of younger boy cousins, all around my age. We talked about music, movies, their impressions of what America is like (they admitted the only information they had they got from movies), my own impressions of South Africa, and other random topics, and I really enjoyed myself. Megan and some of the older people were having some good talks about Barack Obama (people here LOVE to talk about him and know everything about what we think about him), and I definitely karaoked Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” while Megan moonwalked (or tried to). Donovan and I discovered our shared love (borderline obsessions) with Bob Marley, and proceeded to “karaoke” (there were no words on the screen, we just sang along to the music) to “Is This Love?” All in all, it was a great time.

Sunday morning, I awoke to the sweetest thing possible. At 5:30 am, Caitlyn decided to come upstairs, into our room, wake me up and climb into bed with me to snuggle. As much as I needed to sleep (I had two papers due Monday that I knew I’d be up all night writing), I couldn’t help but welcome it. The kids were so loving and affectionate, and really loved having us there and in the end, did not want us to leave. By the time Sunday came around, we were already christened their “big sisters”, and they kept asking why we had to leave and when we were coming back. Gadija kept calling Caitlyn and telling her we needed our sleep, but this only invited Darren to also crawl up into my bed and snuggle, kicking Caitlyn out and over to Megan’s bed. One of my favorite things about Darren was the fact that he had this one move, Legends of the Sea, which he was COMPLETELY obsessed with. He would watch it once in the morning, and then at least once, if not more in the afternoon and evening. I think he watched it a total of 5 or 6 times in the span of Saturday and Sunday, and was able to drag me over with him maybe 2 of those times to watch snippets of it. He was also in love with karate, and thus, Kung Foo Panda (the movie), and also WWE wrestling, which totally reminded me of my little brother, who used to be obsessed with wrestling as well. I thoroughly impressed Darren with my (limited) knowledge of some of the wrestler’s names and key moves, so I have my bro Caelun to thank for that. ☺ We spent the afternoon cooking all kinds of amazing food with Gadija, including Malva pudding (this stuff is AMAZING, like the best cake-like stuff drenched in homemade custard…YES!) and Cook Sisters, which are kind of like donuts with coconut and goodness. She made us so much wonderful food (even though we were both vegetarians, which she accommodated wonderfully), and everything was from scratch. I was basically in awe. Some of the younger cousins and Darren and I had an intense soccer match that afternoon (with a completely deflated ball with a gaping hole in it), and spent the afternoon playing different random games, ending with the three boys attempting to explain and show me how to play cricket, which was really entertaining. We then brought all of the glorious food over to Gadija’s mother’s house, where we quickly met more family and ate so much before we had to head over to the buses and say our goodbyes. It was so sad, but Megan and I agreed we are definitely going back, because it is only a very easy train ride away. And we didn’t leave empty-handed either. Gadija sent us both home with Tupperware containers full of portions of the food we had just eaten (she told me it was a snack for the morning hours when I’d be up writing my paper that night), and a gift bag of presents representing South Africa, including a baseball cap and water bottle, stickers of the South African flag, Knick Knacks (amazing Cheeto-like South African snacks) and an assortment of other snacks she deemed typically South African. They told us that we were the first students they had ever hosted, and that based on their experiences with us, they wanted to do it again at every possible opportunity, which made me feel really good. Overall, it was a weekend I will never forget.

One of the most interesting things I took away from this was an increased real-world (as opposed to academic) understanding of the effects of apartheid and racial tensions that still exist. I mean, you can read all the books and write all the research papers you want on the topic, but nothing beats actually being right in the middle of it all and seeing it manifested in real people. It makes it quite tangible and gives it a face. There is still a lot of serious strain on the relations between coloreds and blacks. There are a lot of stereotypes and misjudgments that exist on both sides of the others. Even before I left for Oceanview, some of my black South African friends were joking asking me why I would ever want to go there, and that they would be scared to show their faces there, but I think there was some truth behind their jokes. Namely, some of the colored people (especially the older generations who really lived during apartheid) are angry at the state of the country, and blame a lot of it on the new black government. Their argument is that under apartheid, they lived much better than they are living now. This is of course, because they were given privileged status because they were lighter in complexion than blacks. But, and I think very misguidedly, they take these grievances and warp them to become evidence for their statements of blacks being incompetent and unable to run the country efficiently. Some even go so far as to racistly claim that blacks are lazy, incompetent and stupid, and claim that they would rather go back to the apartheid system rather than live as they are now. This was pretty shocking to me actually, and Bones (the LEAP coordinator), who I am becoming increasingly good friends with, kind of had to talk me through understanding this because I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. My question was this: is there absolutely no sense of national South African unity or identity, because if there were any inkling of that, how could one ever wish upon their fellow citizens a return to the egregious treatment that was the typical black person’s experience under apartheid? I still don’t fully understand it conceptually (and maybe that is just due to my own biases and education and personality), but I do see the simplistic logic in it, despite how self-interested I think it is and how much I disagree with it. Life, for colored people, was hands-down better then the situation now, so why, as self-interested rational beings, would they not want a return to that system that gave them special status and benefited them over others, thus allowing them more opportunity to thrive and succeed? Now that blacks are allowed to be on the same level as them, there is more competition for jobs and housing, schools are more crowded and the education system more burdened, along with other social issues that they point out as “flaws” in the new government. I was to put it out there also that my family did not personally hold any of these sentiments, but were very good about taking the time to explain them to us and give us both sides.

My counter-argument bases around one thing: time. Apartheid only ended a little over 10 years ago. How can one expect a country where these glaringly obvious racist and inhumane ways were seen as normal and were so ingrained in society to change immediately over to an egalitarian, liberal democratic society immediately? These things take great amounts of time, because what actually needs to be changed is the psyche of people, which is an extremely difficult task. The way people internalize information and their thought processes, actions and feelings need reform, so you can’t expect all the kinks to be worked out in such a short amount of time. Of course, some people may feel like they are sacrificing some personal comforts and maybe even their lives for the cause, but if they had any sense of caring about the future generations, they would realize what they perceive as suffering is a necessary aspect of this total revolution currently being undergone in their country of South Africa. Therefore, I don’t think it is the time for them to abandon their brothers and sisters (whether they be black, white, colored, whatever), but to band together to improve the current conditions and situation and get through it together, knowing it is going to get better along the way. South Africa has come unimaginable leaps and bounds in this past 15 years, and the spirit must be kept alive if it is to continue on that path.

Anyway, those are just my personal insights on what I saw and experienced. Sorry it turned out so long! Hope you all are doing well, and are enjoying reading my lengthy babbling known as blogging ☺